4.26.2011

I'm "that" guy, every Tuesday at 9:50am

Picture if you will, running to the store for only a couple items, you grab everything you need and head to the line, only to be stuck behind a shopper who seems to have loaded up to feed a football team - and guess what - there is only one register open!

Yep, that's me - except I'm the one with the cart full of groceries. And I'm that person, every Tuesday at about 9:50 give or take. I shop once a week (on Tuesday's because that's when they get fresh bananas). I plan, I make a list, I buy what I need and pray I don't forget anything. The experience of standing in front of seven people waiting behind me and watching every. single. thing. I take out of my cart and put onto the counter space, which spans all of 1x1 foot, makes me want to slit my eyeballs out with the 7,000 foil wrapped condoms hanging next to the register.

You see, I live in Costa Rica and while I am able to accept it, I am unable to change and revolve around this concept of "Tico Time" where every minute is right now, there is no future time, it is in this moment 100%. Great, wonderful for living in the moment. But do I want to go to the store every day because I can't comprehend what I might need tomorrow. Hells no.

Here is my dilemma, I don't want to be "that guy", so time after time I continue to let a couple people in front of me in line. Today I let in a woman with a soda and pack of cookies, another lady with a single loaf of bread, and a man with a pack of laundry soap and a beer - just one, b/c he doesn't know this yet, but he will want one tomorrow.

So, here I am, letting these people in line in front of me because I cannot bear be so rude as to go in front of someone with only two items. While I am patiently waiting for the ONE attendant to ring them up, a slew of people pile up behind me with... you guessed it, an arms full of purchases. What the HELL am I supposed to do now? If I let everyone in front of me I will never, and I mean never, leave that store. My butter will melt, my bananas will brown, and my ever-present thirst in the 99.9 degree store will never be quenched (I will mention here that I cannot buy chocolate chips at this store because the bags are a solid chunk of melted chocolate...it's hot).

So today I stayed put after the first three. I became the subject of what I'm sure was chatter about me which I didn't understand b/c they were speaking really fast, under their breath, slang Spanish - those tricksters! Okay okay, maybe they weren't talking about me, but if I were a betting gal...

Anyway, as I was on display for what seemed like for-freaking-ever, I felt all 14 eyes leering down on me and my purchases, counting my milks and checking my butter out... Then, finally, after what was probably only four minutes, it was time to pay. I probably only had 40 items and you fellow shoppers and weekly planners out there know THAT is a light load where I come from.

Then a funny thing happened. Well, two funny things. A man walked up to me, who as it turns out, was the owner of the four grocery bags still sitting on and hogging the counter space, and asked me if I had his dry shrimp. I don't even know what dry shrimp is so it's possible I didn't fully understand him, and why do you want to buy shrimp from a store that can't keep chocolate chips from melting? All I could think was "Why don't you MOVE your damn bags off the counter when you're done shopping anyway?"

So the funny thing - as I was putting all my bags into my cart and about ready to push my purchases away from the onlookers and retreat to my car where I would then continue to wait 10 minutes for the delivery truck to move where my butter melted anyway, woman #2 in line grabbed my bag of milk that had been trapped in with shrimp man's purchases and handed it to me.

Well I'll be... thank goodness someone was looking after all! A silver lining to my four minute torture session. Thanks woman #2!

3 comments:

  1. Haha sorry about my Fresh Market post. Although I'm sure one day part of you is going to miss this chaotic part of your life. ;)

    I love this narrative, by the way! I need to get more organized so I can make just one weekly trip to the store. As it is, I'm good at storing up on alcohol, but for food? Yep... the person in line behind you with a loaf of bread and an apple.

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  2. I love reading this thing!! I think you should start writing a book.....I would buy it! Love ya, Jane

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  3. Very well written, Becca. And yes, your narrative sense could easily shape this into a readable and successful book. Way to go!

    -Timmy-

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